Giving Care

I’m now noticing that when I was in the middle of caregiving that I didn’t have much time or energy to help others. I was very selfish and drawn in on myself. I was worried about getting through each day and I didn’t worry much about my neighbor.

Now I’m trying to take this attitude and turn it around, so that I can look at others and see if I can help to meet their needs. This is so hard when all I’ve ever thought about was my needs. Yes, I extended that to my husband and my children, but never outside of that circle.

 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.

Mark 12:30-31

As Christians we are commanded to love our God with everything that is within us and to extend that love to others. As Christians we are not only to take care of ourselves and family, but to also extend care to others. What does this look like? I’m not sure, but I know that my giving care will look different from yours. We are all called to do this. We should pray and ask what caregiving we can to today for others.

Anxious about Tomorrow?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:28-34

We worry about many things in life and our worry causes us problems both physical and mental. I found this verse and took it as my own many years ago. The key in this portion of the scripture is the part in bold. If we are seeking His Kingdom and His Righteousness then everything else becomes secondary.

Easy? Oh, no…. Our society is so material driven that just to say that you don’t worry about things can have others look at you like you’ve grown 3 heads. In the past, especially when I was taking care of my husband, we were taken care of. I worked full time and didn’t know how I would be able to take care of my husband as his health worsened and continue working. I brought in the paycheck, what we lived on. It seemed like it was impossible. Then through no thought or research of my own I found that we could get Home Health Aides at no cost to us. REALLY? What a relief! God really does look after us.

Beginnings

Caregiving is close and dear to my heart. I feel for the people who work in the background for a family member who needs constant help just to function in day to day living. I know what it’s like to be exhausted and to have outsiders always ask “How is ____ (you fill in the blank) doing?” and they never ask “How are YOU doing?”. The disappointment and anger of having to deal with family members and others who just don’t get it. The feelings of helplessness when you can’t ease the pain or discomfort of the person you are taking care of. The frustration of dealing with hospitals and doctors who think you are a trained nurse and can do all the care. You see, I took care of my husband for 16 years before he finally passed five years ago. I know the grieving process so well because I went through it time and time and time again.

I’m going to be open in this blog and I may talk about some hard subjects but there is one thing I learned in my 16 year journey; there is always hope. Hope for your patient, hope for you, hope for your situation. I grew so much, personally, in those 16 years because I trusted Jesus through it all. Did I do this perfectly? Absolutely not! It took me years.

This blog is for you, the caregivers out there who want to say “I can’t take another day”, and then take a big breath and tackle the impossible. The caregivers who fall exhausted into bed each night. My hope is that you can find hope and help here. I would love comments, because we can talk to each other about our pain and our weaknesses. We can share our thoughts.

I want you all to know… I get it.